…and Dalrymple gives Kashmir to India!
Dear All, it is my pleasure to publish this brilliant satire by Pankaj Saksena on William Dalrymple’s foray into international politics and foreign affairs (first published on his blog, “The Literary Falcon“). Read and share widely. ..
*** …and Dalrymple gives Kashmir to India! by Pankaj Saksena ***
He makes it clear that the Tajik, the Hazara and the Uzbek, living in the north are only nominally Islamic.
Of course, Karzai led north-dominated nation is named an Islamic Republic of Afghanistan! Of course, they follow the Shariat, just like Muslims all over the world, but that is just a small coincidence.
He defends the voice of the majority of the Afghans, which is the voice of the Pashtuns, which is the voice of the Taliban. Hence, the Taliban is the voice of the Afghans, the true voice of democracy! (That enemy of the people, that old-fashioned ‘writer’, Khaled Hosseini, portrayed the Taliban all in negative light! Well, why wouldn’t he? American agent!)
No wonder that America would try to eliminate the Taliban, install a puppet regime in Kabul and destroy the only hope of the people of Afghanistan!
One would foolishly say that the Pashtuns are only 42% of the Afghan population and the Tajiks, the Hazaras and the Uzbeks together constitute nearly 45%. So how do the Pashtuns constitute the majority? But does one care for these petty facts, when the very ideals of humanity are at stake? Such naiveté!
And do we hear a murmur that while Dalrymple calls for majority favoring decision in Afghanistan, he never supports the Hindu majority in India? Such preposterous idea! Such impertinence! How can the two situations be compared? The Hindus are a frightful majority of 84% in India, bent upon the ethnic cleansing of the innocent Muslim minority.
It is due to the Brahmanic scheming of the Hindus that the Indian Muslims are still poor, uneducated and politically weak; and now they are pushing for the ‘final solution’! No less!
And they are constantly abetted by that Caribbean writer. What’s his name? Yes! Naipaul! What does that arrogant little snob think he can do? Just because he can write a few good lines, does not mean that he knows anything. What screwed sense of history he has! Just because a biased Swedish Academy awarded him Nobel, doesn’t mean he is good.
No one who has ever seen a rally of RSS can venture to suggest that the Indian Muslims are safe. Have you seen those lethal lathis of RSS? Have you not noticed that comfortably dressed in knickers, they are an army on edge? Are the Taliban freedom fighters, armed with cheap, rusty Kalashnikovs even a remote match for the formidable army of the lathi-wielding knickerwallahs?
Though the global Muslim community tries to help the noble cause of the Taliban with their hard-earned meager money, it is no match for the centuries of wealth hoarded by the devious Banias. Coupled with American money, the Hindus are undefeatable! It does not matter that they have not yet carried a big massacre of Muslims. It is sure that they will, if given free hand.
It is because of Dalrymple’s commitment to secularism and global peace that he visits India, risking the violent VHP mobs. This time he guided quite a lot of youth away from RSS and VHP in the Jaipur Literature Festival. It’s only that most of them flocked to Ayaan Hirsi Ali! That abomination of a woman! If only she were a little less gorgeous, the world would know the truth about her: she is on the payroll of America and is plotting for the final solution of the marginalized Dutch Muslims. And did one see that Ferguson boy sucking up to her like that? What has the world come to!
To go into a little history, the Hindus are bound to be violent until they keep following some basic precepts of Hinduism. Hindu deities are violent and vengeful. Until they become entirely modern, they will continue to be a threat to world peace.
On the other hand, the Taliban and Al-Qaeda are gravely misunderstood. They believe in the religion of peace, Islam! The only possession they have is the adorable Kalashnikov! They should be provided with computers and TVs! (Somebody send Sachin Pilot to Afghanistan!)
It is immature to say that the Taliban carry out suicide bombings. First of all, most of these events just do not happen! They are faked by the CIA and the Islamophobic world just buys their lies.
America could orchestrate 9/11. Why wouldn’t it be able to organize a few suicide bombings in Israel, a few beheadings in Iraq and a few stonings-to-death in Afghanistan?
Even if sometimes, the moderate Muslim gets enraged and blows up the brains of a few Americans and Israelis, it is due to the constant injustices done to him by the American imperialists. Should we even pay attention to such incidents?
So why would Dalrymple support the majority Hindus, and why wouldn’t he support the Taliban?
He also warns the world against the devious designs of India in Afghanistan. Though, he contains himself by saying that Indian presence is minimal. Minimal! Don’t they know what a few political Hindus could do to an entire nation? At last he proposes the noble solution! India will stop all its machinations in Afghanistan and Pakistan will leave its legitimate demands on Indian Kashmir.
That way Indian greed will be satisfied. Of course, it will be a great sacrifice for Pakistan and the Muslim people, but that is how humanity is nurtured! By the blood of the downtrodden!
And he cares to mention the Kashmiris as a separate people along with the Afghans, the Pakistanis and the Indians. How honest! At last, the Kashmiris get national status, even if only on paper!
Some heartless military theorist would try to give Dalrymple some ‘knowledge’ of war strategy, whipping out Clausewitz’s theory of war.
But when will they understand that what the world needs is not a Clausewitz and a Lord Montgomery, but a Rahul Gandhi and an Amartya Sen! A Dalrymple!
(At this point, the author of this article had an emotional breakdown and could write no further. Keeping in view his secular sympathies, the reader is expected to forgive him for this lapse and the consequent abrupt ending.)
*** End ***
Also by Pankaj Saksena on this blog: The Brown Parrot
Loved it!
Brilliant satire, I must say …
We are successfully raising a generation of highly self-opinionated urban middle class hiding away from the truth by subscribing to cosmetic philosophies of equality and secularism, just because they feel good …
please read my commentary on the rise of modern urban bourgeois at
http://flawsophy.blogspot.com/2010/07/urban-junkie.html
Excellent satire. Loved it.
Pray enlighten me where did Mr Dalrymple said anything similar to this:
“Hindu deities are violent and vengeful.”
Where did he say it??????? Show some proof…….
The above lines in the text of this post points to this link:-
“”www.amazon.com/Age-Kali-Indian-Travels-Encounters/dp/1864501723/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1278948630&sr=1-1″”
The book in the above link is:
“”The Age of Kali: Indian Travels and Encounters””
is this book about “Hindu deities”???????NO!
By “The Age of Kali” he talks about Kali Yug……..NOT GODDESS KALI.
So WHY is it linked in that place????why?? There has to be some logic in it.isn’t it?
@seadog, flawsophy and Sid: Credit must go to Pankaj!
***
@Indian Pundit: I will let Pankaj respond to your specific comment. I am sure you realise that the post is a satire!
@seadog, flawsophy Shantanu Ji and Sid: Thanks a lot!
@Indian Pundit: Dalrymple never says the exact words: ‘Hindu deities are violent and vengeful’.
I will make two points:
1. first, as Shantanu Ji suggested this is a satire and not a report.
2. second, as you will notice, in the article, the words are of author’s own and not of Dalrymple’s. They express what the author understands of the works of Dalrymple and not what Dalrymple professes to in public.
And it is indeed implied in his book that Hindu deities are vengeful and violent.
The cover which is now available for ‘The Age of Kali’ is a new one, redesigned and rethought. The cover which was originally made for the book, showed Goddess Kali in her most famous posture.
As you yourself have remarked, the book is about the ‘Age of Kaliyuga’, the fourth age of darkness in the Hindu scheme of time. Hence, showing goddess Kali on the cover of such a book can mean only two things:
1. Either Dalrymple is as ignorant of facts as I sometimes suspect him to be, and he does know the difference between Kaliyuga and Goddess Kali.
2. or, he deliberately wants to slander Hindu deities by showing that the age of darkness is synonymous with the Hindu gods and goddesses.
The cover which shows this, is no more available on internet now. But I am very very sure that it was not so until three years ago. It was widely available: in images on google search and as the cover of the book itself.
But now when I search it, it is missing entirely. I wonder if even this is deliberate or just an ‘accident’.
But I do have the book in Gwalior and in a few days I will scan the cover and will post the link here.
Brilliant satire that nails the phenomenon of white privilege (accorded to people like Dalrymple) and how certain ideas gain currency because of it.
I found the cover page showing goddess Kali on the cover page of ‘The Age of Kali’. I am sharing it here.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/12910183@N06/4851872449/
And there is a correction in my previous comment:
*1. Either Dalrymple is as ignorant of facts as I sometimes suspect him to be, and he does not know the difference between Kaliyuga and Goddess Kali.
Dalrymple represents the typical English mindset of Divide & Rule & oppress the Hindus by using words to please the Muslims.
See his article on Angkor Wat in which he never calls it a Hindu temple. He is a master of subversion of truth, nothing more. But then that’s what the entire west has been for India.